REDESIGN YOUR MINDFUL LOVING RELATIONSHIP
What changes will you make to your mindful loving relationship as lockdown restrictions are lifted?
Recovery from the Covid-19 Pandemic and lockdown presents an opportunity for you and your partner to take time together to honestly assess the current state of your mindful loving relationship.
The Covid-19 Pandemic and lockdown is an unprecedented event in our lifetime. There continues to be so much uncertainty about the progression and consequences of this Pandemic. This makes it difficult to have clear or reasonable expectations about the near future. We will continue to experience dramatic personal, health, economic and emotional effects on our lives and on the lives of people over the entire globe. Some of the effects like illness, loss of loved ones, loss of employment, loss of freedom of movement, and economic disruptions are experienced immediately, while other effects will be experienced for months and years to come. There are overwhelming experiences of grief, anger, guilt, fear, empathy and love that have left people emotionally raw and exhausted.
Anytime we experience difficult, traumatic or life-altering events in our life, we have the choice in how we respond. We can become victims and feel powerless, or we can choose to learn lessons that can help us grow stronger and become wiser. For us as individuals and as couples living through this unprecedented event, it is more important than ever to examine how we have managed to be our best (or not so best) selves and partners, what are the lessons have we learned, and how do we want to move forward. The months of lockdown have had significant effects on couples and their mindful loving relationships. Some couples have experienced increased conflicts, relationship stress, emotional turmoil and disconnection. Others have experienced greater connection, greater relationship strength and intimacy. And many have experienced a combination of both
This presents a unique opportunity in our relationship and calls us to move forward with each other with greater love, understanding, compassion and forgiveness. It helps us put life into a different perspective as we make decisions about the meaningful changes we get to make in our lives and relationships. What’s been the effect on your relationship? Take time to do an honest inquiry.
How do I want to mindfully redesign my life and our relationship now? Be mindful as you create a plan for yourself and for your Mindful loving relationship. Begin by taking some time together to honestly assess the current state of your mindful loving relationship. Have a conversation with each other about how this time has affected you and your relationship. Explore what behaviors, practices and activities you’ve engaged in that have helped you grow, manage stress, and stay connected in your relationship. Identify the choices you’ve made and what decisions do you want to make moving forward. Examine what are the lessons, strengths, difficulties, and opportunities you each notice.
Some suggestions of questions to help you with your conversation are:
Have our hopes and dreams for our relationship been redefined as a result of the time we’ve spent in lockdown?
What lessons or awareness did I/we learn from spending time in lockdown?
What behaviors did I/we engage in during lockdown that I want to continue?
What behaviors or activities that I/we were not able to engage in during lockdown that I/we will eliminate?
Following your conversation, commit to updating your mindful loving relationship practices. Some activities to consider are:
- Make a list of the meaningful activities you want to continue like having dinners together, taking more time to connect with family and friends through Facetime or Zoom calls, taking more time for self-care.
- Make a list of those pre-lockdown activities you want to discontinue like over-booking social or work calendars, being too busy to connect with loved ones and friends, ignoring health and good nutrition.
- Examine and identify the lessons you have learned, the strengths you have demonstrated, and the difficulties you have faced.
- Review and update your Mindful Loving Relationship Vision Statement. This is a statement that reflects the hopes and dreams you have for your relationship today. It is positive, personal, powerful, dynamic, and inspiring.
- Update your Mindful Loving Relationship Goals. These goals are clear practical action steps that turn your vision into reality.
Create a plan together and set specific relationship goals to move forward in your mindful loving relationship with greater passion and purpose.
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